Challenging My Sons... I'm still testing

It's 3am and I'm still blogging!

I haven't been as attentive and as close to my sons' studies as in the earlier days. I'm relying on my tuition teacher quite a bit here as my work has been pretty demanding lately.

So, it came as no surprise that my son, especially the eldest, came back with bad results for exam as well as for his regular spelling, ejaan and Chinese listen and write (direct translation for 'ting seah'). It was most upsetting when his Standard 2 class teacher wrote me a note in his message book that Ryan was the only one in his class who got 0 for his spelling and that he was most unattentive in class. As a parent, I don't like to hear this. And Ryan wasn't (at that time) worried too much about having 0 result. He was too playful. My husband and I tried scolding and lecturing him. Didn't quite work. He was only bothered that I didn't sign on his book as he was worried that his teacher would scold. His school requires parents to sign on all their ejaan, spelling and 'ting seah' results. Later, I went to the extend of going a bit on reverse psychology saying that he upsets his mummy went he does very badly. Ryan is very sensitive about my feelings and he tries hard to make me happy. For this, I love my son very much. Even Raymund is the same. Both boys will always try to make me happy to the extend of 'satay-ing' me when I cook for them or something. The reverse psychology worked a bit. He came back with reasonable marks for his spelling, ejaan and 'ting seah'.

With this observation, I went further by challenging him to get 100% for all his spelling, ejaan and 'ting seah'. And that he is very clever and his parents will be very proud of him. Ryan loves to know that he is clever and he puts double effort to show this. I suppose this is because he had a hard time adjusting his Standard 1 in a chinese school in the year before. Since then, his record for all his 3 languages spelling equivalent has been 100% and graded A. He was very very proud. Once he came back with 1 wrong and he promised vehemently that he would get 100% next and he did!

Just this week, his tuition teacher couldn't make it to guide him with his Chinese 'ting seah'. Obviously, I can't either. He was most upset indeed as he was aiming high at 100% marks. He was pestering me the whole night to get someone to help him the next morning before he went to school. You see, at last minute on the day before, his school teacher had changed some characters for the 'ting seah'. Luckily, my neighbour was able to assist him. According to my neighbour, they didn't manage to finish practicing all. So, I didn't pressure for 100%. Today, when he came back, he was waiting for me to get in the house. In his hand, he was ready with the result of his Chinese 'ting seah'. It was 100%. I can still remember his face. He was proud and very happy. Naturally, my husband and I are very proud too. We fanned this spirit for perfection. We exaggerated our praise to him and even let him choose the venue for dinner. (Ryan loves to eat!!)

There is another observation. While he was putting in effort to achieve a consistent 100% in these various spelling for the 3 languages, I have also noticed that his memory power has also improved. Turns out very well indeed :)

While these were going on, my 2nd second, Raymund noticed the attention that his kor kor is having. Of course, he doesn't want to lose out. Raymund also started telling us that he has been getting 'all correct' for his spelling, ejaan and ting seah. Again, we exaggerated our praise. It became a friendly competition of who will bring back 100% for us. In fact, Raymund is kinda cute. A week back, I received a call from Raymund while I was at work. He sounded very upset. I was thinking perhaps he was sick or something. He then told me that 'Mummy, I got all correct for my ejaan...except one wrong'. He was most upset! I was trying not to laugh. Instead I asked him why not all correct and made him promised to give me 'all correct' the next round. He did! Later, his tuition teacher told me that she was in the house when Raymund called me. It was like this. When Raymund woke up from his nap, his tuition teacher asked him how he did for his ejaan. He didn't answer and looking very upset, he went straight to the phone and called me. Poor boy!

My colleague called me a 'Tiger Mum'. She told me that Tiger Mums are mums who wants and pressures her kids to get 100% perfection. Am I really? I seriously don't think so... though.. though I will be most happy if my kids are like that. In my situation, my boys are very playful and attention span is very short. Studies has not been something which is foremost in their minds. That's why the bad results on Ryan's part initially. Raymund is blessed with good memory - so, his situation is not that bad. Hence, this called for a bit more drastic action. A little strive for perfection and a friendly competition. Actually, I was really trying to stimulate interest and pride in their work. As for my girl, she is still a baby in the family :)


I am a proud mum!