Indonesian Maids & Their Sanitary Towels

I don't know if you know but I just found out! It's gross.. grotesque!

My husband came home yesterday and pulled me aside. He heard from a friend about how Indonesian ladies clean their soiled sanitary pads. I have always thought that like us, they will just wrapped it up and throw it away. Yes, they do that but they had to wash the blood away from the pad and then only wrapped and throw it away. Can you imagine?!! Toilet will be reeking with the smell and if it's not washed properly...urghh! Then they will be caring and feeding our kids, they cook... eeekkk urghh! I was shocked!

After he told me, I spoke to my maids. Is it true! I asked what for?! They have to throw it away anyway after that?? They were surprised that we asked. In fact, it is so normal for them. They were taught to do so in Indonesia. One says that she heard that if she doesn't do this, rumor says she will go crazy... so she had better believe it in case. Another story is something along the lines of Pontianak feeding on it .. urgh! And my maid told me she was just taught to do so... don't know why. Immediately, I told them not to do that. They are in Malaysia. We have proper rubbish bins and garbage trucks disposing rubbish, unlike like the close quarters in Indonesian 'kampung' lifestyle. Under no circumstances that they practice this.. purely for hygiene reasons. It is no wonder sometimes my common bathroom stinks and I didn't even know why then. No matter how you hose it down, it will still reek with the stench unless you do a complete scrub and wash... but each time...no way! Thinking of it now gives me the shivers!

So I told them NOT to. If by not doing so drives a lady mad.. I'd have been mad long ago!

We didn't scold the maids. It wasn't intentional. But it took us only now to know... all these while when we have Indonesian maids... shivers! Urghh! Gross!

Chain Post #4.. Raymund's 1st Day in Kindy...Phew!

Today is Raymund's 1st day in kindy. Not easy to wake up though. After all these 3 years, he has been waking up at his own leisure. And today, he was awaken when the sky was still dark. 6:30am. Poor thing. Tantrums, of course. But we were easy on him. Ryan is also finding it difficult to adjust to waking up early. In his Eduland/Beaconhouse days, he only had to wake up at around 7:30am.

Anyway, they were pretty excited getting ready for school. Ryan was playing big brother, telling his brother, "Raymund, I take care of you, ok?" Together, they waited for the van which reached promptly at 7:30am. Surprised, Raymund went calmly and willingly up the van with Ryan. I expected screaming, shouting and dragging. In fact, I was telling my maid to be prepared to hop into the van as well.

It's my turn to watch the kids this week. Last week, my husband saw to Ryan's 1st day. This week, its my turn for Raymund. Ryan is pretty settled down in school already. It's just Raymund. And there is also THAT call from Ryan's teacher! I was told to observe him today. Sigh!

My maid and I arrived early at the kindy, waiting for the school van. My kids came down calmly from the van (they didn't see us initially). They were just fine. Ryan already knows what he has to do. I led Raymund to his class. He was ok and was playing with the toys on his table.

But I should have expected it. It's the calm before the storm! Ha, ha! Actually, it was my maid. I told her that I was going up to see Ryan and she is to watch Raymund. I suppose I wasn't specific enough. When I came back, she was outside the classroom, hiding from Raymund. You see, the classes are done in open concept. There were 3 classes separated by moving partitions in a big room. All the children were there and so were most parents. The kindy encouraged the parents 'to calm' the kids before the teachers take over. So, it was like a 'fish' market. Some children were brawling away, all parents were talking at the same time, teachers are trying to talk to and sing with the children. Headache!! As I was saying, I was surprised to find my maid outside the room and I asked if she was shoo-ed off. Then, I heard Raymund! He was crying and screaming for his maid. The teachers obviously didn't know who was the maid. I rushed in and hugged him. He wanted to go home immediately. I had to console him and talk him out of it. I was quite upset with my maid for ruining the 'sweet' moments. I told her to look after him but instead, she played hide and seek. I know she meant well but then! From then on, Raymund attached himself to us and made sure we were nearby. Being an active little 3 year old, he couldn't sit still too. He carried his bag all through .. my guess is that subconsciously he was preparing for flight. Darn!

10:45am. The 4 year olds were released early. They let the ones who were going home with parents go first, table by table. Then, they called the children who were taking the vans. The vans were making 2 trips. One to take the 4 year olds at 11am and another at 12pm for the older children like Ryan. So, Raymund had to travel alone. I knew trouble when trouble started. He refused to follow the teacher. He insisted to go home with his Mummy. No go! He has to go through this (gritting my teeth!). He cried so bad, and I could see that he was frighten. I told my maid to ride with him in the van. Didn't work. I had to close the van's door and walk away ... heart heavy. The van drove off. Then... I realized that my maid had my car keys!!! I was stuck!! Just as well, the van took them home 1st as Raymund was brawling. And just as well, the kindy is near to my house. I got my maid to cycle back and give me my keys. What a mess!!!

Ryan took the van later and was good and steady. I quietly observed him in class. I saw that he was following and participating in class. Good boy!

I got Raymund in front of me later and had a heart to heart talk. He didn't want to go to school tomorrow. Did some psycho-ing ...and more bribing. I had a deal with him that if he goes to school by van tomorrow without crying, listening to his teacher while Mummy and kakak wait outside and goes home alone in uncle's van... then he gets a nice cake. He loves cakes. Deal? Done! Let's see.

The ordeal will begin again tomorrow. Hopefully, things will go smoothly. You can't count too much on a deal with a 3 year old, right? And I don't want to frighten him either. Sigh!

Whatever it is... same thoughts... nowadays, the education expectations of the young children is getting higher and higher. If we are not carefully, the children of tomorrow will not get to enjoy true childhood. This is very very sad!

My Kids Are So Attached to Me Now :)

At one stage, I was blogging how upset I was that my kids were so attached to my maids. Since my maid has gone back to Indon for a break, little Raymund had sem lost and attached himself to me. He wants me to 'pat pat' him to sleep every night. He wants me to sit next to him for meals. All these despite the many scoldings and punishing coz he is basically a very active and mischievous little boy. Needless to say, Ryan has always been attached to me. My hubby and I had been taking care of him since he was a baby. Those days we couldn't afford a maid.

The fact that I've been at home for a while after resigning from my former job and waiting to get on to the new one, encourages the bonding with my kids. I have been teaching, scolding (haha! Just can't avoid this ;p) , taking them out, bathing and playing with them helps... giving me quality time with my kids and hubby. I'm back to bathing my kids... sad, I've been slacking before since my maid has been doing the job. Normally after they have their evening exercise, I would bath the 2 boys together (of course, expect mischief here!) and then my little girl. Don't underestimate 'bathing' session with kids. My little girl got so much closer to me after these sessions. I so enjoy the bonding. She loves it too and said 'bah bah' (ie bath bath) and starts pulling at her clothes trying to take off her clothes ... like she thinks she can at 1 year old :). My husband also bath my little girl just the other day but he treated her like 'glass', haha! I asked him how come he was so confidently bathing the boys when they were young but when it comes to his girl, he was so cautious. He just told me his boys are tougher. His little girl is too fragile. Haha! Daddy's girl! I cannot 'tahan'... I took over the bathing after that to make sure that she was clean :p

I just put my little girl to bed. She has been cozying up to me earlier. Even rejecting her favourite kakak... which is just pretty rare! She snuggled up to me and wanted me to 'pat pat' her and make her sleep. So nice! The two boys wanted me to be around too. Lotsa urging and nudging to make them sleep. Finally... peace :) and I get to blog about it :)

Simple acts of pleasure!

My Kids are too Attached to my Maids!

When we had Ryan, we were trying to control our expenditure. We didn't hire a maid. Ryan was sent to a babysitter during the day and after work, we fetched him back and took turns caring for him. As a result, Ryan is very close to us and is easily upset when we are not happy with him.

When I had my 2nd child Raymund, I decided to employ a maid to care for Raymund and to keep my house in order. And when Rachel arrived, there is no way that I can do without a maid since I'm working with fixed and sometimes extended hours. My maids turn out to be good, listens to instructions and easily managed. My kids love them. In fact, my 2 younger ones just loved them too much! Unlike Ryan, Raymund is so attached with my 1st maid who cared for him since he was 1 month old. He is not so close with us especially when he was younger. Now, it is easier to bridge the gap since he is able to communicate. But then, his 'ala' mother is still the person he would run to if he is upset or want something. Very sad!

Now my little princess Rachel is already showing that she prefers my 2nd maid. So very attached and she is just 7 months old. Mummy and daddy are quite secondary to her even though we spent time to carry and play with her after work. When she sees my maid, she would want to be carried and pampered by her. Just like today, I sent my maid to fetch Ryan from his class and I was waiting for them in the car with Rachel. The moment my girl saw her leaving the car, she started crying and screaming and looking out for her. She cried for a good 20min and only stopped when she came back and held her in her arms. I'm quite upset because she is my precious little girl but she treats the maid like her 'mom'. This is the price that I have to pay for being a working mum who employs someone to care for her children. The parents-kids bonding is affected.

Essential item for baby/child care # 1 : Baby monitor

I've been thinking of talking about some items which I have that's very useful for child care especially for babies and toddlers. Here is the 1st one. I will be adding from time to time based on my experiences and views. Hope you will find it useful.

When I shifted to a double storey home, my 2nd child Raymund was only a toddler. Unlike my previous condominium, it was hard to keep my son with me whenever I move around in the house. It was also difficult to watch him when he took a nap. I just couldn't hear him when I was in kitchen or garden. My friends gave me a very useful item for his full moon - the baby monitor. This is a wonderful creation!

When Rachel was born, my colleagues gave me another baby monitor. Was that too many? Definitely not - one for my very active 2.5 year old Raymund and another for baby Rachel. Works very very well, indeed - even till now. My maids and I are free to do our work and have the baby monitor receiver placed near us. When we hear movements or cries, we just know when to rush to them. Peace of mind!

I'd recommend for moms to get one. Or, when your friends/colleagues ask you for your preference in full moon gift (and they're sharing the gift), do ask for a baby monitor. It's too expensive to buy your own. There are many types and brands out there. Pick base on the budget. The best is if it comes with 2 way communication. Most are only 1 way. I have both :) :)

Thanks to my friends!!!

My maid's contract is expiring soon

I have 2 maids - nah! It’s no showing off business! It’s just that I have 2 very young sons - one 5-years and one Terrible Two - and a baby daughter... and I'm working with no one at home. No choice! Have to have 2 maids to keep some order at home!

So, one of my maids is soon to go by year end! So, what now? Should I employ another? What if the new one gives me trouble? They don't come any cheaper now… blah blah blah... the usual questions, the usual considerations.

So what if I send my Terrible Two going on Three... still a 'Terrible T' .. to a playschool first. To instill some discipline and to tone down the ‘terrible-ness’. Perhaps then I can still cope with only 1 maid. Still I have a baby who needs lotsa attention. My Terrible T is going to a playschool in the 3rd term – like my eldest, hope he will become more manageable after that.

Then there is a matter of whether 1 maid can care for 3 young active kids and still manage daily household chores. Still thinking.

Just my opinion about how to hire an Indonesian Maid

Recently at the pediatrician – you see, my son was not well and I juuuust had to drag my maid along to take care of my very active son to keep my sanity :). Well, at the pediatrician, a mom said to me that my maid looked efficient and seemed to love my son very much. How did I choose my maids and which agency did I go to? Ah! This is one question that I have been asked over and over again - especially now that I have TWO maids to take care of 3 very young children.

At the end of the day, it is all about luck really. Just how much can you tell by looking at the bio-datas that your agent sends you? The bio-data essentially just tell how the maids look like (believe me! When they appear before you, they do not resemble the photos AT ALL!), height, weight, family members, etc. To me, what is REALLY important is the character.

Here are some of the things I look out for when I talk to my agent – and not fully dependent on the 4 letter word, LUCK :) Please don’t take this as the hard and fast rule – it is definitely NOT fool-proof. Just little old me expressing an opinion :) Feel free to discuss :)

1. Age must be at least 28yrs. Bearing in mind that the reported age in the bio-data may not be correct – some would over or under declare. Then ideally I would go for age between 28-33 years. Maturity is important. Once my mum had an 18-yr old Indon maid and all she worried about was boy friends, getting lazy, etc. At last, she ran away after incurring loads on my phone bills!
2. Preferably Muslim. Nah! Nothing to do with religion really! Just that the Christian Indonesians were generally located at the kampong kampong area, according to my agent – I heard from some that they can be so kampong that they have not seen electric kettles, remote control and such, much less operating them. The Muslims are generally located more towards the ‘more developed areas’, more exposed, less ‘pantang’, hopefully.
3. Coupled with requirement 2 above, it is important to know where they are from and under which clan – Javanese, and so on. Sorry this is the part that I forgot. But it goes kind of in tandem with requirement no 2.
4. Must be married with children. Why? I do not want them to come to Malaysia looking for a mate!!! Married women with family have specific purposes when they come here to work – to get money to – to improve the standard of living of their family, to open business and for their children’s education, etc. They are more stable and reliable AND hopefully LOVES CHILDREN! At least, MY maids are! They said that my kids are their ‘anak angkat’
5. Never work in Malaysia before. They can have working experience elsewhere which is good but not in Malaysia. I do not want to have her friends knocking on my door! And generally, maids who came to Malaysia before know how to get away with things and know how to ‘’handle’’ their ‘majikan’, if you know what I mean. The fresh ones are better.
6. If they have working experience but other than Malaysia, it will be good too. Reason? You don’t need to train too much! Believe me, a fresh maid needs a lot, a lot, a lot of time to train – and especially if you have children. You will finds lots of things in your house breaking :) :)
7. Education level – preferably at secondary level. But this is not that important. If they have higher learnings (majority drop out at primary level), they can at least help out your toddlers a bit. My 2 maids are secondary drop outs and they are teaching my 5 yr old son and guiding his homework.
8. Lastly and most importantly, if I cannot meet or talk to the maid (some agencies have video conferencing), I would ask my agent which maid is better from character perspective. They must have already met her and interviewed her. To me, reading bio data is not very useful. I have a set of requirements for my agents – such that the maid will independently care for my children and easy character – no tough nuts and rebellious kinds. They must be independent and stable.

So, I laid down my requirements very clearly and explained to my agent under what environment would the maid be in, before he/she went hunting. This however does not prevent bad maids as bad habits can still be developed when they are here in Malaysia. Hence, a new discussion – how to manage Indonesian maids :) - next time :) :)