When we had Ryan, we were trying to control our expenditure. We didn't hire a maid. Ryan was sent to a babysitter during the day and after work, we fetched him back and took turns caring for him. As a result, Ryan is very close to us and is easily upset when we are not happy with him. 
When I had my 2nd child Raymund, I decided to employ a maid to care for Raymund and to keep my house in order. And when Rachel arrived, there is no way that I can do without a maid since I'm working with fixed and sometimes extended hours. My maids turn out to be good, listens to instructions and easily managed. My kids love them. In fact, my 2 younger ones just loved them too much! Unlike Ryan, Raymund is so attached with my 1st maid who cared for him since he was 1 month old. He is not so close with us especially when he was younger. Now, it is easier to bridge the gap since he is able to communicate. But then, his 'ala' mother is still the person he would run to if he is upset or want something. Very sad!
Now my little princess Rachel is already showing that she prefers my 2nd maid. So very attached and she is just 7 months old. Mummy and daddy are quite secondary to her even though we spent time to carry and play with her after work. When she sees my maid, she would want to be carried and pampered by her. Just like today, I sent my maid to fetch Ryan from his class and I was waiting for them in the car with Rachel. The moment my girl saw her leaving the car, she started crying and screaming and looking out for her. She cried for a good 20min and only stopped when she came back and held her in her arms. I'm quite upset because she is my precious little girl but she treats the maid like her 'mom'. This is the price that I have to pay for being a working mum who employs someone to care for her children. The parents-kids bonding is affected.
4 comments:
hahahaha. I faced this problem b4 when i sent my 1st daughter to bb sitter when she was 2nd mth until 4 years old. She put me & her bb sitter as 1st in d most important person list. I felt jeolous too at that moment. hahhaah. Luckily my 2nd daughter doesn't show this yet.....who knows later kuah.
Now, every morning when I send my 2nd daughter to the bb sitter, she will call, make some voice to ask me stay or perhaps want to follow me together while I'm stepping out fr the gate.
Almost 1/2 a year I stopped sending my elder daughter to her bb sitter, She seems more happy with her current school day care life, she doesn't face any (even minor) separation problem with her formal bb sitter. So, I feel school life environment is very2 important to kids. She didn't even want to admit she was a formal student of previos kindy.
Joanne, pls be patient & talk a lot and have private time with Rachel and Raymund (I mean 1 to 1), sure ....you will over come this problem.
Good luck.
Aricia
Thanks Aricia. I know I will eventually overcome this problem. But my little Rachel is still a baby and I really want her to 'follow' me more. Sigh! I'll try to be patient and think of smtg to improve the situation :)
Keep up Joanne.. the kids will slowly understand you are the mother.. :) Cheers
Thanks Cynthia. Its wonderful to have mothers encouraging each other :)
Rachel is slowly getting more attached to me now ;)
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