Hiring Confinement Ladies

I delivered 3 babies and I had 3 different confinement ladies. The first one for Ryan was ok - all new experiences for me and nothing to compare. I couldn't get her for Raymund because she has stopped being a confinement lady and became a baby sitter instead due to medical reasons. The 2nd confinement lady was a nightmare! Rachel's confinement lady was very good and we have kept in contact since. She is great and helped me kept my house clean even though I have maids. In fact, she cooked for my little girl's full moon just to help me save cost. We got along very well. Recently, She just made bak chang specially for me. Not bad, ya?

After 3 rounds, I thought I would like to help preggy moms like my Cousin Vivien :) around the topic of confinement ladies based on my experiences. Here are some of the Q&As. Enjoy reading :)

When to hire a confinement lady (CL)?

About 6 years ago, it was ok to hire a CL after the pantang period (3-4 months). As time goes by, demand went up and supply of CLs are scarce. So, people book CL just when they found out that they are pregnant. I have such difficulties finding a CL for Rachel when I was 3 months pregnant - I was considered late!!

Confinement Lady or Confinement House?

There are some confinement houses that offer food and board for moms and their newborns. It is more expensive. Some moms choose them over CL as they do not want strangers in their house or for convenience purposes. I have no such experiences. So, can't help you there but to let you know that there is such an option. 

What is the going rate for Confinement Ladies?

5 years ago was RM2,600-RM2,800 for 30 days. Rachel's CL at the end of last year was RM3000. The going wage now is about RM3300 (could be higher!) and most CLs are only offering 28 days. So when you ask about the wage, ask how many days they are going to work with you. If you choose 28 days, it would mean that your CL will not be around to help you on your baby's full moon. If you have parents to help you, then this should be ok.

Important!! If your confinement is crossing over Chinese New Year, the wage will double!!! They may also ask for days off during Chinese New Year. Do try to see if you can negotiate for lower.

What about angpow for confinement ladies?

Angpow is necessary for 'pantang' purposes on the part of the Confinement Ladies. My CL even ask for an angpau when she started work just for 'yee see'/ritual purposes only. The main angpau is at the end of the confinement when you pay them the wage. Some CLs will insist for a specific amount upfront for the angpau eg RM200. Others will leave it up to you. So, you can give according to how happy and satisfied you are with their services. 

Booking fee for confinement ladies?

There is no written contract with CL. If you are happy and they are happy :), then they will ask for a deposit to confirm their service. They have to know how serious you are so that they will not commit to another 'client' for the same time. Try not to give more than RM300.

What is the role of a confinement lady?

Strictly speaking a CL's role is just to care for the mother and the new born baby ONLY. This will include cooking and washing for the mother and the baby. Some CLs stick by this. 

If you need the CL to cook, wash and care for your husband and older kids/parents, please tell them and see if they are ok with it. Lay down the duties that you need from them and be reasonable about it because the main focus is still the mother and the demanding little one. They may ask for more $$.

Do be open about this and clarify upfront as you don't want to stress up your confinement with quarrels and dissatisfaction.

What to look out for in a Confinement Lady?

• Ask your friends to refer. This is so that they will be able to tell how 'good' the recommended CL is. 
• If it is possible (since some CLs are from outstation), meet up with the CL and see if you 'like' her. 
• A good cook!!! The best part about confinement is CONFINEMENT FOOD!!! This is the one and only time that you can eat Confinement Food without getting over-heated. So maximize this pleasure with a good cook. Some hubbies look forward to it. Mine did :)
• Non calculative CL - you will know when you speak to her. Remember, you have to stay with her for 1 month!
• One with years of experience. There are lots of 'pantangs' to follow and Chinese herbs to take at each stage in the 30-day confinement. A good CL will take care of you until you are rosy with health.
• Not a lazy CL. You don't want to 'wake' the CL when your baby is screaming for attention or push her to clean up or care for the baby - I've hearing stories about this. But of course, how can you tell that at point of hire?? Then a referred CL is all the more important.

Lastly, is it better to hire from Confinement Agencies eg Pei Ling?

I have never tried or even approach these agencies. Of course there are some up sides to it. But, I prefer to 'know' my CL before they come to my house. With these agencies, you may not know who you get. Check out AMN Mead Johnson forum. There are some discussions about this.

Hope this helps. I will cover in another post about how to manage your CL when they finally arrive at your doorstep. Enjoy reading :)