Spending Some Quality Time

I took 2 days off work on Thursday and Friday last week. And time flies. My intention was to revise Ryan's school work as next week he will have his 1st exam. Don't think he fully comprehends the real meaning of exam yet. But he does know that if he studies hard and get good results, he will be rewarded and he is very hopeful that he will get his Nerf Gun.

My work has been rather stressful. My boss has high expectation. Good in a way but my body can only take so much. I had a not-so-serious-case of anxiety attack just before CNY. Started with palpitations and a bad case of shortness of breath. I actually thought I was about to have some heart problem. Done the ECG and even thyroid test. Finally, concluded - too stressed - it was really anxiety attack. I made sure I rested during CNY and I recovered somewhat. More stressed came later what with piling work. I feel a short break in between is good for me to recuperate. At the same time, my son needs me. Ryan has been a good boy. He listened to me even when I was a bit harsh with him when he couldn't follow. I feel bad but sometimes, he needs some jostle. I always end the session with a hug so that he knows that Mummy loves him and means well. Raymund wanted to join but after a while, he lost his patience. He can't sit still. Actually, I'm not worried about Raymund. He is a fast learner.

I really enjoyed my 2 days + weekend. There is no rush or race against time. No adrenaline surges. Peace! My kids are my lifeline.... or in Chinese 'mang kan'. Seeing them together makes me very happy.. even though sometimes they drive me nuts. My husband feels the same. In fact, he joined me and took his Friday off too. My kids love it when we are at home with them. It means that they get to go out and have a little fun.

Monday is coming too fast. Definitely Monday Blues or even Manic Monday for me. I'd get very exhausted when I come back from work. But that does not stop me from enjoying my family. After all, working is a means to an end. While I'd like to excel, I consider having a balanced life critically important. Else there is really no meaning. My husband shares the same view as well.

I Bought a Globe for My Sons

Ryan is super enthusiastic about 'Science' - a word that he uses to encompass science, geography, biology and the works. He has his favorite collection of children encyclopedias that we got from Popular Bookstore. These of some of his favourites.

I am hoping that Raymund is gradually influenced by his brother. Still not yet but my little boy here loves school and studying. That is good enough for now. Ryan on the other hand is not too happy with his new school but luckily his passion for 'science' and knowledge is still strong. Lately, because of the catastrophe in Japan, he is even more interested in earthquakes and tsunamis. How does it happen and the whys. He was also talking about the location of Malaysia, Japan and the oceans around it. Being an opportunist, we decided to buy the boys a globe. Why a globe - just making sure that they know that the earth is like a ball and not square :P. And of course the fun of spinning it around.

The boys were really excited particularly Ryan. Raymund just likes to spin it round and round. I guess he is too young for it. But I involved him anyway so that at the every least. he knows where Malaysia is. I got funny questions from him asking me where Giant Hypermart is and so on. Quite entertaining.

Actually, the intent is not to show them that they can spin the globe. I'm thinking that when I read the books with them about the sun and earth, about animals and origins, and so on, I can point it out to them. Just the other day, Ryan was asking where can we find piranhas. I didn't know but luckily for his books, we found out together and got to show him where on earth... literally speaking.

How to Register Your Child for Standard 1 - for Selangor areas

Answering Alice who posted this question on my blog. Here's a set of instructions to help you. Actually I have friends asking me the same thing too. It is actually not easy for first timers as you have to find your way around. I was bumping around for Ryan's registration last year and I know what to do for Raymund now. Even so, I couldn't find the MOE site initially. For Selangor schools, you must apply online first before you go to the schools. They were less strict, I think, last year coz I went direct to Ryan's school and the school registered online for us. For Raymund, Ryan came back with a set of instructions from the school asking us to register online first before bringing in the documents to them. So, for you who are interested, here goes.

Registration for Standard 1 entry in the year 2012 an 2013 has started since 1 Mar. Registration past 30 April is considered late. This is applicable for BOTH 2012 and 2013 admission. See this little note from MOE below.

What you need to do is this:

1. Go to http://apps.moe.gov.my/esppsel/. It may take a very long time to load. Don't worry your computer is not hanging. Just have to wait very long. I had to wait a good 10-15 minutes when I was doing mine.
   
   
2. Once in, you will see an online form that looks like this. Start filling in. Get your child's IC or birth cert handy.
   
   
3. Follow the online form till the end. You will be asked to fill in your child's info and yours too. Pick the school from the drop down list that you want your child to be enrolled in. There is only 1 choice! Also do know which 'Daerah' the school is located. Pick from Klang, Kuala Langat, Kuala Selangor, Hulu Langat, Hulu Selangor, Sabak Bernam, Gombak, Sepang, Petaling Perdana or Petaling Utama. If you don't know, please google up the school for their contact number and ask first before your register.
4. Once you have successfully registered, you will be given a PIN. This is for you to login again to your registration to amend or check for status.
5. Remember to print out the form after registration. Just click on 'Cetak' at the bottom. You will need this for your registration at the school.

Yes. Registering online is only the 1st step. You have to bring this online registration form together with the following documents to the school that you picked for your child. Go during week days. Again, this registration is opened from 1-30 Mar.

• Birth certificate/Sijil Anak Angkat (original & photocopy)
• Parents'/Guardians' MyKad (original & photocopy)
• Marriage/Divorce certificate of parents (original & photocopy)
• Surat Hak Penjagaan/Perintah Mahkamah, where applicable (original & copy)
• Utility bill with your address (TNB/water/telephone) (original & copy)
• Self-addressed envelop of 4"x9" with 60 sen postage stamp
• Doctor's report & Kad Oku, where applicable (for special children) (original & copy)
• Printed online registration that you have just done

For 2013 admission, the results of registration will only be out around August 2012. For 2012, this year. Successful registration does not mean successful admission to the school that you want. My son Ryan didn't get the 1st or 2nd choice. We had to go through appeal to place him where he is.

When the time comes, go back online. Select the 4th option (See above). Key in your child's IC and the PIN number. Wait and wait and wait. You will be able to see updates where they are ready. IF you need to appeal, go to the school which your child has been allocated and you will be told another painful process.

Good luck to you.

Cheers

Joanne

Chinese Enrichment Class

Considering what I had to do to bring Ryan up to speed on Chinese, I was deciding to get Raymund ready. At Raymund's kindy, they offer Chinese enrichment class for preschoolers starting Year 5. I'm such a bad mom. I totally forgot about it until I spoke to my neighbour who sends her kids to the same kindy.

I called the kindy enquiring whether it was too late for him to join midway. And if it too difficult for him to catch up. Also checking what kind of syllabus do they cover in the half hour enrichment every day. Guess what??

Of course, they have the usual thematics blended in but one of the key piece is reading and story telling from the Red Dragonfly series. Obviously I didn't know what that was. I checked with my kids' tuition teacher and realised that it was actually the Odonata series that I talked about. Raymund is already on it with his tuition teacher. That's not the only thing I'm happy about. I'm just happy that I'm on the right track in putting my sons through the series :) ... doesn't matter that it was a somewhat random shot!

红 蜻 蜓

:)

Standard 1 Admission for 2012 & 2013

Yep yep ... I'm on blogging spree. Making up for lost time :) Been madly busy and I decided to take break this weekend.

This post is just a prompter to any parent out there who does not already know that you must register your child now for Standard 1 in 2012 and 2013. The registration was opened on 1 Mar and for people to register within the month. I read in the MOE website that registration on 30 Apr is considered a late submission!

Check up the site. Figure out what you need to do. Most importantly which school you'd like your child to attend. Hopefully you are not too late for popular schools. I know that for some very popular Chinese schools, especially when there is only 1 or 2 in that area, parents queue in those schools as early as 6am in the morning on the 1st day.

Make sure that you identify the 1st choice properly as that is the one that is going down. Choice 2 is not in the consideration even if you have stated it. That was my experience.

Basically, prepare the following. If you are lost, just go to the school that you want to enrol your child in and ask. Bring these:

1. Your child's birth certificate - original and copy
2. The parents' IC - original and copy
3. Marriage Certificate / Divorce Certificate - original and copy
4. Proof of address that you reside in - latest original and copy of electric bil/water bill/cukai pintu/S&P with your name and residing address on it.
5. A white envelope size 4" x 9" with 60sen stamp affixed.

Double check first with the school on these docs before you go.

Good Luck!

Cheers

Joanne

Raymund's Cough - I've Got the Remedy!!!

I have blogged a lot about Flu and Cough.

And always, when anyone gets it in my household, there is always a domino effect. And I'm particularly worried about Raymund. Raymund has a sensitive pair of lungs. When he was 1 month old, he was admitted in the hospital for a week for bronchopneumonia. At 1 month old, it was serious. He was on oxygen support as the doc said that babies may just give up breathing if he couldn't breath. My little baby at that time had his wind pipes all jammed up, full of mucus. It was so painful to see him go on IV, the needle poking into his tiny hands and then the painful suction of mucus every so often. He was screaming hell.

Anyway, since then and I believe it was because of that illness at such at young age, Raymund has very sensitive lungs. On days when he didn't have flu, he'd still cough when he over exerted - like running and playing. He'd cough and cough, and then vomit. He'd wheeze as well. And no, he does not have a real case of asthma. The pediatricians said that he has what they call exercise induced asthma. So, he had been treated with similar medications like Combivent, Steritide, Ventolin and the likes. When he suffered from cough and flu, many a time, he was given nebulizer and even Singular. I have this aversion for Singular and if possible, I try not to put him on it. I covered my belief separately in my topic on Singular.

I got really worried that Raymund's situation will worsen as he grows up. On normal days, and almost every other night, he would wake up in the middle of the night coughing till he vomit out mucus. He would be crying as I can see that it was painful to him. I tried many things. The medications from pediatrician but I don't like administering too much med on a little boy. I seeked Chinese sin seh's advice and giving him things like snow jelly/suet kap, cordyceps, hou jou san (bear gall) etc. Nothing seemed to work. His cough is easily triggered, If he takes anything cold or junky, that's it. He would definitely wake up that night coughing badly and vomiting.

Checking around, I realized that some of my friends' kids have similar problem. Raymund is not alone. Well, knowing that we are not alone, ain't helping either. I still have to figure out a way to help him.

A friend once told me to try out bird nest. His son was suffering from cough a while back but not as bad a Raymund. He bought the Lo Hon Ka bird nests and fed his son a spoon every day. He told me that his son's cough ended there. I didn't quite believe as I thought that it was an isolated incident.... until recently.

Failing all measures, I finally got Raymund on Lo Hon Ka Bird nest. Feeding him twice a day, each time a teaspoon of those concentrated bird nest. He didn't quite like it and we have to do much 'manja-ing'. He wasn't too consistent as he sometimes just refused it. About 2 bottles later - roughly a month passed - I noticed that I didn't hear him coughing much. In fact, he hardly woke up and cough, much less vomit. And then we ran out of the bird nest. For about 2 weeks, he went without it. His cough came back and the nightly ritual started again. That's enough for test and control. I believe. I quickly bought the Lo Hon Ka again and put him back on. He is better now. Still not completely cure but I'm hopeful.

There... that's my story.

Why not buy the uncooked ones and cook ourselves. Done that. Didn't work. Simple reason. The difference is that with Lo Hon Ka, he gets it everyday. Will you double boil every day?

Lo Hon Ka bird nest is definitely expensive. About RM350+ a bottle if you are member.

But ... and this is a big BUT...start calculating. When the kid is sick, how much do you have to pay for pediatrician and put him on medicine which is just preventive and for symptomatic treatment. It does not stop totally. It does not cut it from root as the Chinese says. You keep paying and if he goes on Singular, that's easily another min RM100 depending on how serious and that is just on medicine each time. Don't forget Singular has a side effect! Worse still, he gets hospitalized! Calculating this, you will find that it is about the same if not cheaper. The other upside is that bird nest helps general health as well. Good for the skin. Etc. Definitely a good option. And it works!

I'm already asking my friends with similar problem with themselves or their kids to try it.

Hope it helps them.

Hope it helps you :)

Cheers

Joanne

Montages of Ages Overtime

A friend and colleague of mine, Farah inspired me. She gave me a great idea when she did a montage of photos of a friend of her from past till present, printed and frame. Thought it is a fantastic idea for my kids. They grow so fast and change so much. Until you look back, you wonder what has changed. As I was doing these montages, I was reminiscing. The earlier days when I first got pregnant. The stages of growth. The memory was very sweet.

Here are what I have done for each of my darlings.

Ryan

Raymund

Rachel

Feels good .... You should try it.

I just did them on Powerpoint, then copy all and save as picture.

If you want to make it more fancy, you can use Photoshop.

Cheers

Joanne

I Love This Photo

Take a look of my little girl peeping cheekily between her cousin Enson and brother Raymund.

Such a nice shot!

Thanks to my brother :)

Standard 1 Examination just Round the Corner!

Coming week is school holidays. Right after, Ryan has 2 weeks of examination.

Trying to get him to understand the seriousness of examination is not simple. This is the first real exam. In kindy, they were merely assessments. Half the time, the kindy was telling us parents not to pressure the kids and let it be stress free. Just easy revisions and let them go through them easy.

Now the real thing. How do I even explain the seriousness. That he has to study. That exam is important. You might say that it is only Standard 1. Then it will be 'only Standard 1'. It will have to start somewhere.

A few weeks back, I just tried telling him the examination is important. He has to study with his tuition teacher. I don't have much time as my work is very demanding, what with a new boss. I tried to explain that if he wants to be a doctor, he has to study and get all correct. My boy told me that he wants to become a doctor to take care of his Daddy and Mummy. So sweet :)

Actually, I'm not asking for top of class or really all correct. I just don't want him to fall behind and having stress picking up. That's all I ask. A good average and I'm satisfied.

With the exam, I gave him an incentive. I told him that if he gets all correct (figuratively), I will by him his much desired Nerf Gun - one of those in things for young kids today. Earlier I refused to get him because it just don't like him playing with guns and shooting at people. But he just so loved the toy. So I just told him, if you do well and all correct, that is his reward. Work for it! He said 'But Mummy I thought you say cannot?'. I just said 'I promise that I will give you Nerf Gun if you get all correct. I promise. And you promise you cannot shoot at people. But if you get 1 wrong, you get a smaller present. 2 wrongs even smaller present.' Actually my intend is to reward a present anyway. Just for studying and trying. I don't think he will get the Nerf Gun anyway ie all correct but a good incentive. So bad of me :)

I have taken some days off next week to coach him on English and BM. I have not been a good Mummy. I used to be so closed in coaching. Now I just don't have the time and I'm usually too tired. I rely on the tuition teacher a lot. I felt that the exam require my attention and so I make some time. Not enough but better than none.

The reward piece actually works. Before, Ryan used to get all wrong or few correct in his Spelling, Ejaan and 'ting seah'. Since the time I told him that if he gets all Spelling, Ejaan and ting seah correct, all 3 everytime, I will get him a present. Now he has shown me 100% for Spelling and Ejaan. He told me he has 100% for Chinese and ask me for the reward. I told him to show me. Along the way, when he showed me each, my husband and I 'drama' a bit on our praises. Works and he was very proud.

Standard 1 Blues! And worse, Chinese Primary school!

Yep! Primary Standard One blues! My son's or mine?! Both!!

If you have been following me, you will know that my children are pretty much bananas. Yellow on the outside and white on the inside. They speak English as their mother tongue. And guess what! I have enrolled my eldest Ryan into a Chinese school. I mentioned this before but the reality and the result of that reality hits now.

While I was deciding back then whether choosing a Chinese school for Ryan was a good decision.

Many advised me 'Aiya! Children are flexible and they pick up fast. Don't worry la!'

Taking a closer look, the ones who said that are often the older aunties or have no children or have children in Kebangsaan schools or that they speak Chinese at home.

Then I asked the moms who did just that. Those moms like me who can't read and write Chinese and whose kids are plain bananas. A different stories. Quite a few told me that after a year, they just pulled their kids out and put them in private schools. It was absolute misery for their children. They just couldn't follow. Others who took it through just said bite the bullet, it was tough but just continue. Very few did that.

Weighing and deciding was tough. We decided to put him to Chinese schools for 2 main reasons:

1. An additional language - Chinese - of course. And we speak English at home. I'm not gonna be worried that my son would one day say 'jilo' instead of 'zero'. I'll make sure of that!
2. The main reason. The system. The discipline. At least till Standard 6. I have simply no faith in the kebangsaan schools!

My mom was warning me. Watch out for signs. Signs of being bullied. Signs of depression. Anything. Manage it. And be really prepared that if it doesn't work, to pull him out later. We decided to rough it out with him for now.

The signs came. It was subtle. The signs of misery! Ryan started worrying. Telling things like he was worried that when his little brother Raymund joins him, he might get lost. The school is very big. I told to just ask the teachers if he gets lost. And when its Raymund's turn, he can take care of him. He told me he can't. He gets lost too. Ask the teachers, I said. 'The teachers speak a lot of Chinese. I speak a bit Chinese only'. Initially I thought he was just fooling around. When Monday came, he was crying very hard, sobbing in fact. He refused to get down the bus. Crying so hard that the driver had to call me and we had to get him back home. He kept saying that the school is very big and that he is scared of getting lost.

Boy, how could I concentrate on my work. The next day, I took my lunch hour and when to meet my son at the school's drop off area. He was happier. My purpose really was to speak to his teacher. Reading between the lines. I understand that he felt like he didn't belong in a big school and people are not speaking in his lingo. He told me he had no friends and no one to speak to. And he only understood little what his teachers were saying. Imagine! No friends. Can't speak! Big alien area! I felt very sad for my son! My husband was upset as well. But what choice do we have. Pull him out now? I decided to speak to his teacher.

I got his teacher to understand his fear. I asked his teacher's help to place him and sit with someone who can speak both English and Chinese so they can converse and he can also pick up Chinese. His teacher was good! Phew! Thought that settled. Ryan came back happier and better.

You see, if you know my son, he always tries to make me happy and always tries to please me. Has the matter settled? No. A week later, he kept asking me every day how many more days he needed to attend school before holidays or weekend breaks. He was doing a count down. I noticed that. I started using encouragement and praises that his Chinese was getting better. Clever boy, la di da! Then the blues again! Just this Monday. He started saying that he had no friends. Only 1 friend. And his teacher scolds him. Asked further. It was because he was not listening to instructions. Asked even further, 'Did you understand your teacher's instructions?' No!'. All these over the phone on Monday morning. I was working and freaking busy. Can't get away. But worried for my son. Told my mom about it and she decided to go to his school. Again!

This time, my mom spoke to the headmistress and the teacher. She got them to understand Ryan's fears. Got Ryan to speak to them as well in front of the teacher and headmistress. We then realized that his so called partner is not his friend, for whatever the reason. Kids!! They decided to help and told Ryan to choose his own partner. Then the teacher 'helped' him to make some friends. He came back happy saying that he has ten friends. My guess is that he has more than 1 and not really 10.

Gosh! Trauma! Mine!

It was hard to take your kid's suffering. My husband and I felt helpless.

My husband was asking me what to do. I just said what else. We still have to rough it through this first year and decide after that. He has to learn independence sooner or later. It is just that the language is not helping and there is this culture shock of being in a big school.

We just have to be cruel to be kind! Very Hard!

The headmistress mentioned that she had calls from many parents as well that their kids are 'scared' of the big school. Normal, since this kids just came from small kindies. The demand for Chinese school is so great nowadays. It is from all races... not just Chinese. Bottom line, the same reasons I have mentioned. There are over 100 Standard 1 students in my son's school. Imagine the sheer number. No wonder they get scared.

I keep a very close watch on Ryan still. He is still counting down to weekends. He still tells me that the school is big and that he is scared of getting lost. I told him that he is brave and a good boy. I know that it is tough but you can do it. Make a new friend everyday. Make a new friend today and tell me tonight. He tried. Lotsa praises and encouragement. Good boy!

Don't think the situation ends here. But hopefully, it gets better faster.

Next topic - exams! Coming right up ...

Cheers

Joanne

Math Enrichment - which one is better?

I have got questions from concerned moms about which Math enrichment is better for their kids. When I first started to ask the same question myself a few years back, the choices I had were not so broad. It was then either Kumon, Enopi or UCMAS. I gave my opinion in my earlier post. To my surprise, I got quite a high visit rate there. Then again, why should I be. All parents want the best for the kids. Especially first timers, we need to get more info before we decide. I'm no first timer now that I have 3 precious kids. And the options have widen, there are more Math enrichment out there. One of the latest hit is Math Monkey.

Math Monkey claims the mathematical techniques of Vedic Math. Another jargon? Well they call it a collective name for a set of 16 Sanskrit sutras or formulas all the way from old days in Vedic period of 1500 to 800 BC. Still jargon? It still is to me. Basically it means using logical reasoning to work out problems mentally and quickly. I got this from their website. What do they really teach? I'm actually quite interested to find out. Could be a marketing hook but no harm finding out. I meant to do so for a while but I asked myself, will I stop Enopi for my sons. They too are learning Math without counting. And Enopi also have this part they call the 'Critical Thinking Math' which teaches kids about problem solving too. I dare say that because of Enopi, Ryan is one of the best in Math in his class so far even though other subjects need improvement. In fact, his teacher was quite upset with him a while back for shouting out the answer before she could finish writing the question on the board. I really don't want to shake the firm ground he is in. So far, it has proven to work.

Actually, I hear similar successes about kids who attend Kumon. They are also fantastic in Math. Is it really then the question of which one is better? Kumon? Enopi? UCMAS? Math Monkey? What else? Here is what I think:

1. We can start choosing which concept we like best for our children when we first START.
2. Which one is better? Each sings their own successes. So it really boils down to which one you like...and which one our kids like. Different kids work with different approaches. Mine worked with Enopi. And I believe, each has its own advantages.
3. Once started and results are good, why change? It's just like we cook a big pot of delicious ABC soup but half way through, decided to go for old cucumber soup. It's really back pedaling.
4. Should we add on? Already school homework is piling. Enopi has homework too. Now again Math Monkey. Besides confusing the heck out of him, he will be a mighty stressed kid.
5. Should we change later? Depends. On the kid. If he gets bored, then it's time for fresh air.

Bottom line, I want my kids to be good in Math. It is the fundamental requirement for a lot of topical studies later. It is so very important. I wouldn't say that I'm personally fantastic at it but I'm not weak either. When I was schooling, I was in Science stream taking up Modern Math and Add Math. In college I did a double Math Economics. And university, I crazily went for Mathematical Science in the 1st year until I find that it was more useful had I been in Engineering stream. I worked on Commerce instead. Not far off. But the concept is good. A lot of logical thinking I use came from Math fundamental. It helps. And I want it to work on my kids too.

One thing that I have learnt even up till now is that noone ... or maybe some genius... are born Math gifted. Despite my Math background, I was hopeless with numbers in my earlier employment days. Till I got involved in Analytics. It was then I realised that it is all about practice. Why am I saying this? I'm seeing the light :) haha! Math is trainable. It needs constant practice which Kumon and Enopi recognise. It keeps the mind fast and active. I noticed mine was rather stale :( haha! So what am I saying really? One big circle just to say... Math no matter the method or concept, it needs practice. No brainer, right! Sigh! Must be getting late and sleepy. And getting old... just wanna cerita my younger days :p

So getting back to topic. I will still satisfy my curiosity by finding out Math Monkey and some other hot ones in the market. And I'll share just as soon as I have more info. For my sons, they started with Enopi, they continue with Enopi... tested and proven at least with Ryan and Raymund is getting there.

Here is the qualifier.... I'm not saying one is better than the other despite the lack of info. Just which one my kids and I like at this moment.

Good night!

Odonata series ... Chinese version of Peter and Jane

I just bought the 5th series of Odonata series and to my sons, they call them the Ming Ming and Li Li books. I talked about this before. That was when I first started Ryan on these books. It was the boy's tuition teacher who first introduced the books to them. I found them good and useful. Thanks to her :).

Since Ryan started on them not too long ago, he is still at the pre-school series... which tells simple stories around two kids by the name of 眀眀 (Ming Ming) and 丽丽(Li Li). Actually according to the books, this 1st series of 8 books is suitable for kids aged as young as 2-4 years. In my case, it's never too late. Very visual with lots of colors. My boys love them. They have CDs to teach kids how to pronounce as well as workbook for practice but I didn't get them since I have our tuition teacher to help them.

Ryan is on the 2nd series already. Raymund is almost half way through the 1st. Each series promises that the child will know and recognise 100 characters once he is through with it. I hope so. At least my sons can read more than they can talk in Chinese. Definitely better than not at all. It is another matter when it comes to oral. That's for Ryan to rough it out in his primary school now. They are so banana! Sigh!

Here are the rest of pre-school series.

200 words

500-800 words

900-1200 words

I have gotten till the 500 words series. The books aren't thick else I would think they will scare of kids. Mine would! But the repetitive learning is sufficient to encourage word recognition. Most of all, it ain't expensive. I got mine from the Popular bookstore. I'm a member of Popular since I get a lot of my kids' books and stationery supplies there. With 10% for members, each book is only RM5! Cheap and good! I intend to get them all but I noticed that Popular does not have the complete set.... perhaps they are replenishing?

I like collecting books. Even children's. I notice that Ryan takes after me. His precious ones are the children encyclopedia series published by Parragon Books Ltd. Again I got them at Popular too :). Only RM29.90 each. He calls them his Science books. He loves telling people that he knows Science and that ... he knows a lot of things. I encourage him definitely. He has 4 of these already. He is pestering me to get the one about Body now. Told me he wants to become a doctor when he grows up :) Phew!

I collect children books also as I said. The intend is to pass from boy to boy and then my girl. Of course, I also like to see our mini library grow :). No regrets really.. and I would say the investment is worth it. I just forgot to mention... I just found the Odonata official website and they offer online sales. That was when I notice that they carry a lot more .. from primary up till secondary. Along the way, there are also varieties like comics and literatures. If I can't find them at Popular, I just might go online.

http://www.odonatabooks.com/index.asp

If any mom out there who has banana kids like I do and like me, who is Chinese illiterate, hope this helps :). My boys are taking baby steps forward with Chinese ... and look at it this way, they are going forward :)

Happy Chinese New Year!

Favoring sons

What happens when you notice that some people (I'm not gonna mention who and no, it's not my mom) favors your boys more than your girl? Call me sensitive but I do notice...not once. Perhaps you can say, that it is easier to play with my boys but I notice the contact to my girl is less. How would a 2-year old little girl understands. That is why she is closer to some and not the rest. She knows it too.

I love ALL my kids. Of course, I particularly manja my youngest and my only girl. That does not mean I love my 2 sons any less. I get upset when I see 1 disadvantaged. Of course, you can say that it will be enough for her that her parents love her. But is it really? When she sees it for herself the subtle different treatment? And when she grows up and understands more? Gosh, I really don't like it.

Gong Xi Fa Chai!!

Happy New Year to all!

Every new year makes me think of days of childhood when CNY was something that I was looking forward too. My family would go to my grandparent's house for tuen nien dinner. There were so many people. My grandparents had 9 kids and all married, and some with children. Easily more than 25 people in a moderate double storey terrace house. What's fun? It was actually the noise. The noise of us children playing. The noise of the adults chattering away. The noise of my gramps cooking in the kitchen. And then... later the noise from gambling... including the children. All for the fun of it. It was great. That was so many years ago.

The 1st day, as usual, my late gramps would start chasing for us to reach their house in the morning. No matter how early, it was never early enough for them :). My gramps were very particular about the color of our clothes. I'd be in for trouble if we came in black, white or blue. I remember I made that mistake once. I had this nice matching top in electric blue and black. Just about the only think I could find it in that odd adolescent age. Boy, did I get it from my grandpa. Red is good. Red is safe. This is another thing that has changed over time. I don't see people, at least those around me, that particular anymore. Then the 'hoi nien' lunch... specially cooked by my gramps. Till today, noone can beat my grandpa's 'suen chi lei' (koi (the edible ones) braised in garlic). And there were always a 'pak jarm kai' aka boiled kampung chicken, the vegetarian dish with fat choy. So forth. As children, we were just happy to get together with our cousins, playing fire crackers.. and of course the gambling session :)... controlled la of course. My gramps were very particular that these sessions were only valid for 3 days only. Then close shop. My parents with my uncles and aunties would be playing mahjong till the early hours in the morning. It was certainly a visa to stay up late then.

It is good thinking about it. Now that I'm a wife and mom, it feels different. Responsibilities to balik kampong, visit and greet. Obviously not as fun as when I was a kid. But then again, it is a perfect time to rest too. In fact, I am very bored. Why do you think, I'm blogging now :). There were occasions when I'm sorely tempted to go on a holiday during CNY. Why not??

Handphone for kids. Not to Show Off.

It bothers me a lot each time I take my young children out for a spin. I'm very particular about holding my children's hands when we are in malls and about. I've seen moms and dads shopping, fully absorb in their selection of purchase and left their toddlers wondering about alone. Do they ever wander what if their young children are lost or worse, kidnapped? They will be lost forever.

Unlike the bigger kids, toddlers can barely say their full name, much less parents names, address and phone numbers. If they are lost, what can they do? Shout and cry? Today, even if kids cry, I don't see a lot of concerned people going forward to help. Just stare and walk passed... probably show concerned from afar. Then we hear scary stories about kids who didn't even have a chance to shout and cry. The unfortunate kids were chloroformed, carried into toilets, had their hair shaved and their clothes changed. So what if we can describe the child.

I get very upset when I see parents leaving their kids wondering about and they walked ahead and unconcerned. This 'It wouldn't happen to me la' attitude was probably the same with the parents of some of the poor victims. A few weeks back, I was at MidValley Megamall walking along the shops on Level G. Suddenly, I saw this very young boy about 3-4 years old walking pass quickly and crying very loudly. No adults were around him or acted as if he was with them. He looked lost. I stopped him and asked if he was lost. He didn't reply and continued to walk. Only then, I noticed ahead more than 20 feet away, a couple looked back embarrassed and waited for the kid to catch up with them. I was quite pissed over the ignorance of this young couple. It only takes a second for an ill intentioned person to pick this boy up and carry him away. Don't they know that? They were so far away. If they want to teach their kid a lesson, go home 1st and don't risk his safety. What were they thinking of!

You can say I'm paranoid but the world ain't that safe. It is just that some are lucky and some are not. I prefer to play it safe than be sorry. I used to have terrifying nightmare of losing my kids to kidnappers. Once they are lost, they are gone forever - not knowing who to call, our full names and address. Tags on them are good but not sustainable. They are my precious kids and there is no way I can risk them. I'm quite anal about having 1 person to 1 kid when we go out. Hand holding is a must. If not, they can walk alone but the adult must be just next to him. That's only for Ryan and not the 2 younger ones.

I have my boys then memorize Daddy and Mummy's handphone number. I gave an old phone to Ryan to carry when we go out. Still trying to get one for Raymund. Purely for security reasons. It is not a show off to have kids carrying handphone. I taught them how to use it. Had some chats with them on what they must do when they are lost. In fact, Raymund got so excited over it and has been calling me every day at work ever since. I'm ok. It's lovely to hear from my kids while at work. I don't brush them off. As for my girl, she is too young to memorize. She just has to stick very close. And she wears an anklet with little bells on it.

Very soon, I'll have them memorize our address too.

Bad Words. No No to Kids

I don't know about you but swear words is quite normal with my peers and colleagues. Not the colourful chinese version but the usual 4-letter ones like s---, f---, damn, stupid. Quite uncontrollable when someone irritates me on the road. My husband and I work and worked in places where people are quite liberal with their language. A form of expression and punctuation. Even stressing opinions a bit. Normal for grown ups BUT no no for kids.

I didn't realize initially that we have to watch our language when kids are around until one day I noticed that they were attentive and absorbing our language. That was when we were driving and then we heard echo of the words behind. Oops. You see when you say a simple something and followed by the likes of s--- or f--- or what the hell, it comes with a very expressive and somewhat exciting sounding. Of course what! That's when we let loose mah. But kids find it interesting and they absorb. Mine did. My Raymund has to be most foul mouthed 4 year old around :(. He is innovative enough to combine 2 like words and form things like 'stupid shit'. Nothing to be proud about but coming from a little fella, it is actually very amusing but as parents, we are trying not to show. Yep we are bad parents :(

I told Ryan that he cannot say bad words. Why? Mummy and Daddy also say what! Erm... I had a brilliant idea then. I just said children cannot say. You are only 4 years old (then!) and you can say when you turn 21 ... haha! I buy a good 16 years. That got him settled.

But Raymund, he is the younger one and definitely more mischievous one. Raymund was happily saying 'stupid shit' just the other day. I scolded and said no! Sort of did the trick but I realized soon after that I was the one that kena. He was clever enough to use it INNOCENTLY (and that's definitely staged) with a string of questions like 'Why I cannot say stupid shit?' ..'Only Daddy and Mummy can say stupid shit ah?' 'Is stupid shit a bad word' 'Can xxx say stupid shit?'... blah blah. I wanted to scold sternly but that was tough. I saw through his 'strategy'. He figured that by asking these innocently constructed questions, he could con his parents in thinking he wants to know why but in fact, it was his brilliant idea of getting away with repeatedly saying these words again and again. As if he wants to know the answers to these questions. Smart! But ... sigh!

So, we have to watch what we say. They absorb like sponge especially when it sounds fun.

I can't imagine if he says that to his teacher in school. What will they think of him? And his parents, us...kurang ajar!

Working. A Means to An End.

Anti climax! After a blissful 2 and a half weeks, it's time to get back to work trow. My husband and I are feeling slightly low since we were always looking forward to the next day of quality time with family. But face it, we have to get back to work. Lotsa work pending. Can't imagine how my week will be like.

Why I decided to talk about this topic. More so because the air is seeping out of a nice balloon... metaphorically speaking. No don't me wrong. I actually like my job. It's just that sometimes people and politics get on my nerves. I have been in the work force well exceeding 10 years ...and don't start counting my age :). Seen enough of my share to appreciate home life.

The early part of it, when I was young and single, I was very focused on building experience and learning. I worked till very late in the night and got home around midnight. After all, I was young, and no dependents. Staying with my parents, all I have to take care of is my expenses. Probably why I was reluctant to get married early. Too comfortable.

Then life took a turn. I got married and had a honeymoon baby. My priorities started to change. Not immediate but gradual. That's probably why I regretted not seeing to Ryan's early development and now have to play catch up. The nanny despite her lack of responsibilities fitted our late work schedule. At this point, to whoever who is reading this, my point is while we work, do not take things for granted especially to your family and kids. And don't ever under estimate the importance of a child's early development. It affects him subsequently. We were young and ignorant. Looking on the bright side, we realized it later and still have time to fix it.

Goals change when you have little ones who depend on you. Fully and wholly depend on you. That shift things quite a bit. Balance of life becomes so very important. While we hit the road running when at work, we draw a line at a certain time latest 8pm to come home to our family. My husband and I have an understanding not to disturb each other during work hours as our work is very demanding. But we draw a line. Our children are very upset when they don't see us and put them in bed. Vice versa. That's why we don't like after work entertainment and such as well as weekend functions and events. While duty calls, we are able to manage occasionally. But to us, that is family time which is just 2 days in a week to rest and play with our kids.

How then do I work out my time when I have loads of work. Delivery is still a must. I have an understanding again with my boss from the on set of my recruitment. I promise delivery but if you don't see me working late in the office does not mean no commitment. I will manage after my cut off at work and then settling my children and my husband after that at home... then only I continue working later in the night. Tiring but I prefer it that way as I get the best of both worlds. The same with my husband. So, it works out.

As I aged :(, I feel that ambitions are still ambitions but in reality, it is a means to an end. Supporting and providing for my family. I don't like politics and neither am I competing with anyone. I'd like a good payoff during bonus and come home celebrating. I have been and still is in a high stress and political heavy organization and simply hate that part of it even though the functional part is good. A real dog eat dog world. No colleague is a true friend when it comes to actualizing their career goals. That's why they say it's lonely up there. My feng shui sifu told me to relax and don't take it too close to heart. Relax and enjoy what's more important. For health and happiness if not for anything else. I'm trying to follow that advice. My husband too.

Raymund in Enopi Already

In fact, I feel that I started Raymund late. Ryan started Enopi when we was half way thru Year 4. I just only started Enopi for Raymund. I'm not showing favoritism. But Ryan was a slow starter. He only started speaking in Year 4 and before was all baby babbles. Long story there. As a second child, Raymund picks up from his kor kor and Rachel picks up from both. So naturally, the fastest learner is my girl. This is quite normal and I see this is another household too. Ryan was a bit more unlucky. Where other kids have caring nanny and grandparents to teach them since they were a baby, he went to thru a bad nanny who was more concerned about getting my kids to take care to earn more. I really regretted that I was so ignorant then. That's why I put more concentration on him and what he learns, my other two will pick up too. A good chain reaction.

The 1st time I sent Raymund to Enopi, he cried big time, refusing to get down from my car. Finally and very reluctantly, my maid followed him and his kor kor to Enopi. When I fetched him back, he was real happy. He had this little present from his teacher and he declared 'I like Enopi'. Must be the kids and the presents. They did assessment on him and so far, looks good.

The next lesson, he was all ready at the door waiting for me to fetch. Not bad.

I feel that Maths is very important. It is a prerequisite to a lot of studies later. Ryan though not as strong in other areas, he is top of class in Maths. It also helps to give the child confidence. One of my friends while visiting me saw how Ryan did his Enopi homework. He didn't even need to calculate. He just wrote his answers from line to line without hesitation. My friend was impressed. No doubt there is a certain amount of memory game here but Enopi does teach interesting methods to do Maths. Then, practicing over and over again to remember the answers. Nothing wrong with that. Coz like us adult, we don't even need to calculate simple maths. We just know.

I feel that Enopi is the right move for my kids. I'm not discounting the rest of Math enrichment like Kumon and Math Monkey. Just that I started them off with Enopi and I like the franchisee (owner of my sons' Enopi branch). It is important to know how good and caring the franchisee is, for obvious reasons.

My Sons First Days in School, My Eldest in Standard 1

I had a very nice 2 and a half week break but it's never long enough. My husband was also having a break at the same time. It was good. We had some quality family time, fixed up what needed to be fixed in the house. I felt it was a very fruitful break at least where my family is concerned. I extended my leave to cover the 1st week of Jan... naturally, it was because it was the 1st week of school.

Ryan is in Standard One this year and Raymund for the 1st time will be attending kindy alone. Quite a change and my husband and I were pretty worried, particularly with Ryan. You see, my kids are really 'bananas' or what the chinese will call banana people / 'siang jiau ren' which basically refers to people who are yellow on the outside (Chinese) and white on the inside (amoh). I speak excellent cantonese, but I'm totally hopeless in Chinese. But my husband is a Baba so his Chinese is also 'koyak'. Hence, home language is purely English. Why am I worried about Ryan? We sent him to Chinese school... there is no way I can help... and what's more his school is very strict and obviously very Chinese. Yak Chee has proven record and I was also told by some that if the kids do wrong, they will get caned. Sigh! Biting the bullet and looking on the bright side, he will get disciplined.

We attended Ryan's orientation on Fri 31Dec. Everything was in Chinese! Briefing and even between students and teachers. Ryan got scared and worried. I supposed it was also my fault. My worries had channeled to him. He lost confidence in his communication as everyone were speaking chinese and he wasn't familiar with money, how to buy food from canteen. He kept telling me over the weekend that he didn't want to go to the school. I realized then that we were giving him alerts on areas of his weakness rather than encouragement. Big mistake! We changed tacts. We started assuring him that we will accompany him on his 1st day and that his friend (neighbour's daughter) is his classmate. So, nothing to worry.

In the morning, we checked out Raymund at his kindy Year 5. He went to school in his school van and we went later. He was real steady. Playing with the toys and so forth. More so because his friends from Year 4 moved with him to Year 5. Gave him some hugs and assurance. We told him we will wait for him at home. Cool as cucumber!

Then we rushed back and took Ryan to school. The school is very strict. They let us stay till the students got to the classroom and then ask us to leave to come back during recess. And then leave again to come back later and fetch them back. Us parents ran about like monkeys on a rainy day (of all days!) but frankly, I'm very assured. Assured that the school knows what they are doing and the facilities are ok. Still worried coz all his classmates are fluent in Chinese. Not him.

My husband and I decided to watch by the side and guide in on his 1st day. He paid for his food. He went to find his seat. Washed hands after eating. All by himself. In fact, he was half ignoring us - very proud that he knew what he was doing. Ryan actually feels embarrass when his daddy and mummy goes to his school even when he was in kindy. Cute really. We let him try for himself and pointed out when he was not sure during recess. At the moment, I was quite pissed with other parents. They cut queue and elbowed their way through the Standard One kids and bought stuff for their kids. No doubt that they are worried but is that the way? My husband and I were then quite appreciative that the school was strict enough to shoo parents out. We were only allowed to accompany our kids on the 1st day, with so much restrictions. We decided not to fetch him back from school but to take his school van instead. The van was familiar to him as it was the same one he took to his kindy. Now guess who was worried after that :) My husband and I were out of the house waiting for the school van at 6:15pm till he arrived at 7:20pm.

He came home proud. Declared that he can now speak Chinese - flashed a few simple sentences in Chinese though it sounded like amoh. We played up that confidence and saying 'Wah, Ryan is big boy now and in Standard One'. Works :)

The next 2 days, we watched for depression and signs of unhappiness. So far, steady. People advised me to talk to him after school. We did, asking what he did, what his teacher did with him and if he made new friends ... again played up that being Standard One is something that he can be proud of. He was proud and said he likes his new school and he knows how to speak Chinese and English now. Not bad.

I know I have to continue to monitor him as 1st week is very light and easy. His usual tuition teacher is also on standby to help him. Chinese school is well known for homework and homework and homework. And they are all in Chinese. Sigh!

I'm not the only going thru this. I felt that the Indian and Malay parents I met in Yak Chee are very brave to put their kids in a Chinese school. Takes guts, plenty of it. I met a Malay father in school with his Standard 2 daughter who proudly told me that his daughter had 80% for his Chinese assessment last year. Gave me hope :) even though Ryan is not a very fast learner unless it is something that he is very interested in like science :) Talk about this later.

Going on next post and next topic now :)

Joanne