The Middle Child

Is there any truth to the Theory of Middle Child Syndrome? I have 3 children– the oldest boy will be turning 5, my second boy is 2.5 years and the youngest baby girl is only 5 months old. As a mother, I love them all just as much! But in terms of attention, there seems to be a disparity. I have to spend a lot of time guiding and teaching my eldest. My baby and only daughter SIMPLY JUST GET my attention. And because of that, I feel that my 2nd son is a bit left out. He is at the Terrible Two age and he is often up to a lot mischief. More often than not, he will end up being punished for bad behavior.

I have asked a couple of my friends who are middle children… Do they have to fight for their parents’ attention? … Are they often ignored and find that their parents ‘love’ the eldest or baby of the family more? …Have they ever felt insecure in the years of growing up? And mostly, their answers were yes. It got me really worried as I do not want my child to grow up thinking that his parents do not love him enough. How terrible! Even at this young age, he knows exactly how to ‘buy hearts’ (Cantonese phrase). Compared with my eldest, my second son makes a lot more attempts to get our attention. And when he gets it, he becomes very ‘manja’. I started to be conscious of my actions around all my children. I try not to show disparity (both in praises and disciplinary actions) and focus just as much attention to my 2nd son. Is this enough?